10 Sep Signs You May Be Self-Sabotaging Your Well-Being

When is the last time you took care of yourself; I mean really intentionally paid attention to your self-care? We take care of our physical bodies daily by practicing good hygiene but the kind of self-care I am speaking of goes much deeper than your daily personal hygiene routine.

Do you have positive thoughts about yourself? Do you go about your day thinking about how happy you are to be you, alive and well and full of joy? Are you intentional about looking at yourself in the mirror and loving the person who is staring back at you? You would be surprised to learn about the alarming number of people who really do not like themselves. There is a lack of confidence in their abilities and a lack of awareness about their identity (who they are and what is their purpose).

In my book, “Everything By Faith,” I talk about my own journey to self-care and why it is so important to manage self-care as a part of your overall wellbeing. Self-care has a lot to do with the beliefs you hold about yourself. It’s how and what you think about yourself. I discovered while writing my book I had some unhealthy views about myself that I needed to change. One of the unhealthy views I had was being a rescuer. I felt I had to always come to the rescue of my family, friends, business partners, etc.…. I imprisoned myself for a long time because of this belief I had about myself. Feeling obligated to come to everybody’s rescue was not a good feeling and it always put pressure on me to always save the day. When I couldn’t offer a solution or rescue someone from a situation, it would literally devastate me. I felt like a total failure; like I let those who counted on me down. I was full of guilt and shame and defeat. This did nothing for my confidence, self-esteem, or self-image.

When I gained the tools to learn about how to treat myself better and really care about myself, one of the first things I learned to do was to let go of the rescuer role that I created and allowed people to treat me that way. Instead, I started to put myself first. I learned the power of no. I started speaking kind words to myself to build my self-confidence. I let go of negative words that no longer served me along with shame and guilt. I began to realize the difference between offering to help out someone from time to time without feeling obligated to or guilty if I am not able to help. I stopped self-sabotaging behaviors (like going into debt, neglecting my own bills, denying myself anything so I can take care of others, etc.….)

What are some ways you may be neglecting yourself? Do you notice any unhealthy behaviors that would suggest you are not practicing self-care? Think about what you can do to start abandoning old habits and beliefs and adopting a new discipline towards better self-care. Start by saying kind things to yourself.